how I decided to stop giving up.

Most creative journeys are not linear - and I truly envy those few that are.

When I originally decided to give abstract painting a go at the end of 2022, I started with mixed media, primarily working with acrylic. Learning a new medium is always a fun and thorny journey, and my initial attempts were very messy and full of chaotic energy. I saved a few of them a reminder of where my journey began, and to be able to reflect on how far I’ve come since.

But in between the then and now, there was a big gap. After getting to grips with the basics of abstract painting, I wanted to push myself further and project a different kind of energy through my work. My life has changed, and so has my internal world. From stressed and chaotic I became more calm, more at peace. But my artwork still had a big imprint of the old me.

For a variety of reasons, I decided to switch to painting digitally, and it felt like re-learning how to paint again. For over a year, I kept trying and failing more times than I can count. And I wanted to give up this venture all together.

“If it’s not coming easily, maybe it’s not meant for me”.

Those thoughts kept swirling in my mind, more and more so because I was not seeing progress, feeling constantly stuck.

Over the years, there have been many things that I have given up on because they were too hard and I wasn’t progressing fast enough. I quickly realised that this hurdle was another one of those moments. That was the moment I decided to stop giving up.

And eventually, things starting working out. I got to grips of how to use my tools to transfer the feelings and emotions I was feeling, and to bring you, the viewer, along on the journey.

This painting will be turning two at the end of this year, and it served as a pivotal point in me finding my voice as an abstract artist. It was the first painting I was truly proud of, the first time I felt like I’m finally getting somewhere and making progress.

It has found a home in The Netherlands a while ago, and I’m so happy that little piece of my legacy gets to live on.

There will be many more moments of doubt, pivots and realisation. Each painting makes a difference in where the path will end up leading. Which one is calling you the most?